What I learn about men each day

My life in a coffee shop. May interactions and dealings with customers every day. Mostly about men because they are so memorable. For women to read because we will see these traits in all of our men.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Earrings For Men???

So I was at work today and a discussion topic arose. At what age should men stop wearing earrings? There were several men customers buying coffee today with earrings. Most were the ear stretching kind that you find in the beach towns. I'll admit they did take some getting used to. However there were also some older gentlemen with earrings that that my partners and I found a little Silly.
As I always say I don't want to date a guy with a smaller butt than mine or with earrings larger than mine!
I suppose that maybe a little chip in the ear, maybe something tasteful would be allright. What I saw today was a bit strange. Some kind of skull and crossbones in an ear of a well dressed man. Would you really feel good about sealing a deal with a guy like this? I would be a little leary about signing contracts and handing over millions of dollars to someone with the "mark of the devil".
There was also an earring looking like a devil's horn . I was taught that it is impolite to stare so I couldn't really get a good look at it. I think he was sitting outside on an internet date. That is a whole other subject right there.
So what do you think about these earrings. Should these older guys just take it out and act their age? What do you think?
Have a good night
Coco

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Sling Blade

OK here is another weirdo at night. This guy has been coming in on my nights in the coffee shop and talks just like Billy Bob in Sling Blade. He stares at me and makes really strange grunting noises. I give him his refill for the fifth time and I had turn him away at 915pm after we closed the doors.
Really creepy.
I never really liked that character in Sling Blade or Billy Bob. Both a lot crazy right?
I am hoping he is harmless or maybe he is a friend of Phone Sex guy?

And here is a question for you guys. Why do men grunt all the time? Even in a conversation? Is it that you are too tired to speak correctly? or maybe it is the hour of the day?
Have a great Thursday
Coco

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Jealous Women

In my coffee shop I have noticed that women get very jealous and give me the evil eye when I pay attention to their "man". Somehow, the comment "What can I get you to drink this morning" is translated into " I want you and leave the girlfriend". I am just doing my job and being friendly. These guys just eat it up and flirt like crazy and their girlfriends get more mad by the minute! By the time the couple is out the door there is silent treatment or the woman is telling the guy to stop talking to the barista. The whole time I am getting the evil eye from said girlfriend. I guess I don't have to mention, no tip either!
Perhaps I am less demanding than the girlfriend. I only want to know what they want to drink. I am not asking for marriage or a new car or dinner and a movie. At the end of the transaction I am giving a tasty beverage prepared with a great attitude.
Maybe women should be less demanding like a barista. Although, I only get to spend 5 minutes with your guy. You however have to spend a lifetime with him.
Have a great day
Coco

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Phone Sex

Working at night is always a gamble. Most of the time the coffee shop is quiet and customers are upbeat and happy. I experienced a new "happy" customer on Friday night. There we were serving up lattes and cappucinos and in ran a man who asked if he could use our restroom. Our usual response was "if it is unlocked you can use it". He sure was in a hurry that night. He then announced to us that he needed the restroom because he was having PHONE SEX! My partner that night responded, "of course you can use the restroom, just don't make a mess!"
Everyone in the shop was howling laughing and wanted to listen at the door to what was going on in the restroom. I was just dreading the time when I would have to clean the restroom at the end of the night. Just what was I to find in there? Well, he really was quite quick in there, maybe 5 minutes. Must have been quick phone sex.
Then I wondered how many people are having phone sex in their cars in traffic? in elevators, in restaurant restrooms. The list could be endless.
"Pardon me I have to pull off the freeway. Could you hold that sexy thought till I get to a restroom?"
You tow truck drivers beware. When trying to aid cars that seem to be broken down on the highway, better knock on the window first. I know the next time I pass a car pulled over I will be thinking about phone sex, especially if the driver is alone!
Ponder that thought while you go about your Monday. Have a good one.
Coco

Friday, May 19, 2006

Humor at 5am??

It is hard to get up at 4:00 am to work sometimes. I would like to see most of you do it. I have been getting up at 4am for the past 4 years as part of my job. My coffee shop opens at 5:00 am and I enjoy the early hour with some of my favorite customers. However there have appeared in the last few months a few memorable guys who seem to think that 5:00 am is a good time to try out their humor on women.
We of couse want to say go home to your wife or girlfriend because you are sooo not funny.
For example: the guy who likes to joke about the front page of the daily newspaper. He then proceeds to clue us in on his laughter. I don't know what is humorous about the earthquakes or floods in New England. Do you?
While wishing him a good day, he then jokingly tells us "there you go telling me what kind of day to have".
Well today I informed him that it is part of my job to wish people a good day and send them on their "happy" way. I also told him that it was not a requirement to have a good day and that he could have any kind of day he wanted. He didn't get the humor. I am not surprised because he only wants people to laugh at his jokes!
Please gentlemen, as the saying goes, if you can't stand the heat.....
If you are going to try to make me laugh at 5:00 in the morning believe me I will give humor back at you as fast as I can. There isn't very much I haven't heard over coffee.
Have a good Saturday but only if you want to!!!!
Coco

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

The Murse

I have had it with men carrying purses. Men's purses that is. The MURSE.
Coming tomorrow. Leave your paperwork and notes and cell phone in the car wihile you get coffee! I am going to rant about this on Thursday for sure.
Coco

Measuring Men

Have you ever noticed that men use their fingers and hands when making measurements?
Serving coffee all day long leads me to believe that men have a finger fixation. For instance, measuring the amount of empty space at the top of a cup of coffee.
Here is how it goes:
Coco: What can I get for you today?
Man : I need a coffee with that much room.
(customer then uses his fingers to indicate how much space he wants in his cup)
Coco: Would you like 3 inches of space in that coffee?
Man: No I would like that much space.(again indicating the amount with fingers, which is exactly 3 inches)
This goes on all day long. It makes me wonder what else they are measuring with their fingers.
Are they measuring at the gas station? Can I have about 5 inches of gas today? Or are they using #'s?
Are they measuring at the Deli? Can I have that much roast beef? Or using lbs?
Are they measuring at the ballpark? Do you want a regular hot dog or a foot-long? I guess there they would need to measure with their arms!
So how do they measure their erection size? With their fingers or with words?
" Well honey, I am 6 inches today". Or do they use their fingers to demonstrate how many inches?

I think perhaps I had way too much time on my hands at work today. But in all fairness this led to a fun discussion with the girls at work.
What do you guys think? Is the measuring thing true. Watch for this trait next time you measure.
Have a great Wednesday
COCO

Saturday, May 13, 2006

No We're Not Together !!!

I run into this behavior time and time again in different situations.
Here is how it goes...
2 men come into the shop and order coffee drinks with each other. I ask them if they are "together".. You should see how offended they become. They immediately proclaim , We are not "together". How offended they become and insistant they are not "together". I then have to rephrase the question, "Are you two paying together today?". What is with you guys? I am not asking about your sexual preference, only trying to charge you for your drinks. It is really funny because while waiting for their yummy beverages these men will NOT stand together or wait next to each other. They wait in different corners or one will wait outside.
I have also seen this behavior in movie theaters. When 2 or more guys see a movie together they will not sit next to each other. They will sit every other seat and take up a whole aisle. Why can't you guys just sit next to each other at the movies. In the theater they have to yell at each other over the extra seats between each other.
This creates a big disturbance for all others. Not to mention using extra seats. Maybe you guys should then buy 2 movie tickets for extra seats.
I also noticed this on my vacation. My flight had men travelling alone. I noticed that every once in awhile men would request a seat change if they were positioned next to another male.. Either to an empty seat or next to a woman. And no it wasn't to sit next to a babe. It was grandmotherly types they moved next to.
Guys I don't think you are diverse if you pay/sit next to or watch a movie with another guy. I don't think other people think that either. Am I right. What do you think?
Wish me a Happy Mother's Day. Yes 3 times over!
Coco

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Coffee Enema?

What an unbelievable interaction I had today with a customer. I have to say "cheers" to you men. This woman customer wins the prize of all time from me. A man would never do this!
She walked in and bought a pound of our Organic coffee beans. I asked her what type of grind she wanted me to grind her beans on. She than said "ENEMA GRIND!" I kid you not. I looked at her and said OK, no joke, what grind would you like. She repeated the enema word and I told her I was not familiar with "Enema Grind" . Apparently she is brewing coffee to use as a cleansing enema. She was so happy with her organic coffee she had bought previously that she decided to up her purchase to 2 lbs today. My partners at work couldn't stop laughing when she left and the customers following her were quite confused as to how the coffee enema works. It led to lots of rude and crude discussions this afternoon. It was absolutley wonderful trying to imagine how the whole process works and why she needed 2 lbs of coffee. Organic even. I just wanted to ask her if a nice French Roast would do the trick! Or perhaps a muffin would go well with the organic beans.
What a day. Does anyone know much about this coffee enema thing???

Have a great Friday
Coco

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Everyone needs a break.

I am back from vacation in Colorado. I visited many great sites and coffee shops. Guess what? The world of coffee shops is pretty much the same elsewhere. I have some good blogs upcoming as soon as I recover from vacation!
Have a great Wednesday
Coco

Monday, May 01, 2006

Crazy Man

Happy May
Today was my night to work late at the coffee shop. Night time always brings out the freaks. Why aren't people home at 9pm at night. Why are they out buying coffee? That is the time when the lonely people come out! tonight was no exception. Of course my trouble customer tonight was a MAN, a CRAZY Man!
I actually encountered him yesterday but he returned tomight. I almost called 911 but he ran away too fast.
He stared and leered and pestered my partner and I for awhile and then stared some more and leered more. He then made obscene noises and smacked his lips and made elephant noises. O what a treat for us. I took it as an ordinary night with the crazies at my shop. However he started telling my girl partner that she looked like his ex-wife who he killed. He also described other things to her. By the time I got to him he was crossing the street and yelling at the trees on the other side. Never a quiet night where I work!!!!
Why are my CRAZIES predominantely male? Very few crazy women out there that I see. However there is the bag lady. She carries around grocery bags that are stuffed with more grocery bags. About 10 of them.
Well tomorrow is back to a normal day shift at the shop. Back to my normal rude, sometimes lewd and mostly obnoxious customers. What a relief!
I am going on vacation for a week and I hope I get some good blogs while I am away.
When I return I think I will tell you about the kind and fun male customers, my regulars that DO put a smile on my face. Maybe I'll tell you the story of how I met my honey at the shop one lonely Saturday night.
Have a great tuesday
Coco