Spandex Wearing Man

I just had to re-run this blog. The weather has been very warm and there have been a ton of cyclists this weekend. Men- please read and take some friendly advice!

What women doesn't love spandex ? It is a miracle material. It is able to smooth out a body and make us look put together. It is stretchy and feels good. Right?

However Spandex wasn't made for men !!!

Today was a Staurday at work which means the bicyclists were out on the road. They were also buying coffee at the cafe'. I have seen way too much bike clothes this weekend for a lifetime. The funny thing about these spandex wearing men is that they think they look good in bike pants!
Let me tell you THEY DO NOT look good. Believe me no one wants to see every lump and bump on your body. It is not attractive. The majority of you guys shouldn't be on a bike you are so out of shape. The rest of you are so full of yourselves that you deliberately show off your "package" to anyone. You show it to little babies, to teens, to other bikers and yes you are showing "all" to grandmothers as well. Please do everyone a favor and cover your pudgy, lumpy self up! Well, that was certainly a rant wasn't it?

Remind me to talk about the bicyclist "sweaty money". You can just imagine how their money ends up sweaty if they can't carry a wallet in their spandex shorts.

I actually ran the sweaty money blog back in March and got a lots of very negative response, from cyclists. I guess they don't like to read what others observe about their behavior.
Have a great Sunday
Coco

What you smell like

One of my first customers at the coffee shop today , at 5:05am was a man. Let me tell you , there is nothing more attractive than a guy smelling like Bounce fabric softener. JUST KIDDING!
I just don't like that odor. I could smell him coming in the door even with the aroma of coffee everywhere.
I wanted to tell him that Bounce comes unscented so it won't ruin your romantic Saturday night.
What do you ladies think of this smell of Bounce on a guy? I think a little Obsession would be preferable to Bounce. You sure don't see the munufacturers of Bounce selling it in an after shower lotion or after shave product.
A scenario at a local bar might go like this:
"Hey Jack- What is that cologne you are wearing?"
"Well Sara- I just rubbed Bounce fabric softener all over my skin. It is less expensive than Old Spice"
Have a great Saturday
Coco

How many readers?

I would like to get a handle on my blog and see where it is going. I know I have readers but I don't know how many. I love all your comments as well. You guys are so honest and funny. I wish you were all my customers!
When you read could you please comment in some way so I can gauge how many of you there are?
I am trying to make some $$$ from this so I don't have to schlep coffee forever.
Anything you want to read about Women??. I am one and can give you good insight into our thoughts and thought process.
Have a great thursday- my day off.
Coco

Nursing Mothers

Well we seem to have had a rash of mothers at our coffee shop who insist on whipping out their breast to nurse their precious babies. It isn't all that bad except several of them refuse to cover up and be discreet about it. I know this is the age old controversy. Breast feeding in public.
It bothered a group of men so much in a meeting outside my shop today that they felt the need to switch tables. Everyone could see the "breast" from quite a bit away.
So what do you say? Or do you say anything?
"Excuse me ma'am, would you like a latte with that breast?"
" Could I get your baby a biscotti to go with that breast milk?"
" You are annoying our customers, could you cover up please?"
I even heard the comment, "indecent exposure". Call the police.
I could just see the 911 call now and the sheriff showing up.
"Where is the perp?" O - officer she is sitting in that chair with her baby.
So what do you think. Cover up or let it all hang out. I think my "porno" guy from the other day would have enjoyed the whole thing.
Have a fabulous Wednesday
Coco

Bathroom Reading

Well , here I am again after an incredibly tough Sunday at work. Not only was it Father's Day, we also had to handle to after "church" crowd. Again not a good combination.
So = I noticed that men like to use our bathrooms. A lot! They also like to take things to read into the public bathroom. I always know not to follow a guy who has a newspaper in hand into the bathroom. You guys treat the public restroom just like your own bathroom at home.
For goodness sakes, there are lots of people waiting in line for the bathroom on a Sunday. Could you save the newspaper reading till you get home? Even if there is no paper available to read, you can see the guys taking store brochures in with them. After I get around to pick up the bathroom the brochures and newspapers are on the floor by the toilet. Come on people. At least put your reading material away!
I think sometimes we should move our newspaper rack right into the bathroom, next to the toilet. Would that be better for everyone? Would we than have to provide those cute "bathroom reading books" for the back of the toilet? Or maybe some crossword puzzles or Soduku?
Have a great week and Happy Father's Day to all men readers
Coco

COFFEE and PORNO

Another one for the books today.
A customer came to complain about a gentleman outside of our shop who was looking at "pornography". I asked her what she was seeing and she told me= naked women on the computer monitor.
Well- I walked to the window to observe what this man was looking at and there were no photos on his screen. He was using out wireless service and paying for it as well. I returned later to spy and "o my goodness" there they were . There were thumbnail shots and then he clicked and they became larger photos of naked women. We thought maybe he was a photographer because he was not having an obvious reaction to viewing these photos. Let's just say, his shorts still fit and were not too tight!
So what about it guys? I know you like to look at naked women, but does it have to be on a busy patio with lots and lots of people around?
What do you think? should he have done this at home? I guess he can't look at a library anymore. What is my readers reaction to this? Any ideas about what was going on today?
Have a great Sunday
Coco

Vicky's Secret is Evil?

I had an interesting conversation with a co-worker, a man, today. We were talking about the women who come into the shop to buy coffee on the way to the beach.
Well, a few of them had swimsuits on that looked like they came from Victoria's Secret. I thought that for their age that they looked awesome in the clothes or little bit of clothes they were wearing.
I than said to him that women's swimsuits were very expensive even for just a wee bit of cloth. Just as underwear from Victoria's Secret is expensive for wee bit of coverage.
He then blasted the idea of selling clothing such as these that he thought were "evil". He didn't think that women should be in a catalogue mostly naked selling underwear. What kind of an example is that for our world, he said.
What happened to free enterprise? Just like Howard Stern or really obnoxious talk radio- JUST TURN IT OFF! You don't have to listen and you don't have to look at women in bikinis buying coffee. Look the other way or hand the customer over to me and I won't judge what they are wearing or where they buy it.
Heck - I might just go buy some new stuff at Vicky's Secret this weekend! But not a bikini, I am a bit old for that.
I am sure that you guys can band together to blast my co-worker and his opinions.
Let me hear it and I will show him the response
Good Friday
Coco

Meeting your girlfriend?

Well there is an interesting practice taking place in my shop. Now my men customers want the baristas to meet their girlfriends . I think we have become part of the family now. something akin to meeting the parents. I notice this especially on a Saturday and especially Sunday morning when the couples are waiting in line,usually a long line. You can see them way back in line "making out" with their girlfriends they got lucky with last night. We just want ot tell them to "get a room". Really cut out the public affection in my shop!
Then they reach the counter and of course I have to make conversation and be nice.
"How are you today"
"I am great . Meet my girlfriend. I got laid last night". I'm buying whatever she wants."

Of course you are , she just gave you a great night!
These turn into the women who stare daggers at us because we pay attention to their man. Believe me honey- if you knew the habits of this guy, you would flee into the parking lot and never look back.
Please end up your dates or weekends in someone else's coffee shop. Make out and grab his crotch in the car BEFORE coffee. Or better yet.....
BREW AT HOME!!!!!
Notice this, this weekend when y'all are out shopping .
Have a great Thursday
Coco

Dress your Age

I just have to talk about this alarming trend of Mom's trying to dress like their daughters. There have been in the past month a good many moms and daughters in to buy coffee in the shop. More than I would like to see, the mom's are wearing belly shirts and jeans or skirts that the moms should not be even trying to wear at their age and body type. Moms also have navel piercings and wear g-strings hanging out of their jeans. I think many times the daughters are embarrassed to be seen with mom. The girls want young guys to look at them = don't look at my mom!
Along with the clothes goes the plastic surgery, the boobs, the collagen, the fake poofy hair, the waxings and the attitude. That goes for both moms and daughters.
At the shop we discuss what type of example these moms are projecting for their daughters. Of course this is Southern beach community, California. I really don't think anyone realizes that this is an unreal world we live in here. Most of the rest of the country is not as image conscious or materialistic as we are. So what happens to these women when they go off to school or move away for any reason. Do they still crave the attention? Do they find a new plastic surgeon?
I do have the teenage daughter. And no I don't dress like her. I do have some similar clothes but I just mix and match them a little differently so my daughter isn't embarrassed with me. And yes- we do things together, like go to the coffee shop and check out other people and what they are wearing.
So guys- you get a break tonight. I don't see a lot of men dressing like their sons. Also, not a lot of enhancements with you guys either. Congrats
Have a good Friday
Coco

Appreciation for men

I just have to share with you something from my shop. We are trying to find someone who would be suitable for our "Customer of the Month". To think, after all my griping about men, that the only nominees are MEN!
My co-workers are nominating their favorite customers and there are no women nominees as of yet. We are trying to think of suitable women but our women customers are pretty bitchy. You know the type. Enhanced everything; Sometimes we at work like to count the fake boobs we see in a day. Sometimes I wonder if any women are real anymore? How much have they spent on themselves to upkeep their look?
So congratulations guys. You rock in the customer appreciation area.
Have a great Friday.
Coco

Men with long hair

In addition to men with earrings now I seem to have had a rash of men customers in the coffee shop with long hair. You guys please help me understand about this long hair thing.
There is a guy with hair as long as his butt. He wears it long and flowing. I want to ask how he keeps it so shiny. Is that a subject to discuss while waiting for your latte?
"Excuse me- What products do you use on your hair? It really looks a lot fuller and nicer, not to mention, a lot more shiny than mine." Everyone would be rolling with laughter in the shop!
There are also the older guys again that I think should act their age. They have a long style ponytail however they are bald up on top! I just want to say. "Hey you- your hair is growing in reverse. Did you realize that? Maybe they should get it cut in back and reattach it up on the top of their head. If you are bald on top , go bald all the way. Women generally like that look. I do.
What is it with you guys and your hair?
I commented in my earring blog about dating a guy with a smaller butt than mine. I would not do it. I also would not date a guy with longer hair than mine. I suspect that too much time would be spent waiting for him to fix his hair. That is my area of expertise!
So talk to me please!
Have a great Friday
Coco